Episode 3

Judgment Day: Trav’s friends have arrived to choose who’s getting the one-on-one action. And it cracked me up that they gave the girls a box of engagement rings and asked them to pick the ring they liked as a test. There were three rings—small, medium, and rock. And none of the girls wanted to seem gold-diggery and go for the big hunka love … except Moana. Gotta love a girl who can admit that size does matter (it does … we all know it, so why pretend?).

Oh, and then they asked the girls to display their talent. We had a breakdancer, a fist in a mouth, and Jennifer showing off her body (it is a talent, she said). But Susan won them over, of course. She’s by far the best-looking. And their date was a sweet night of Gay Paree, eating under the stars with a view of the Eiffel Tower—that is, after they found their way driving in what looked like the popemobile. Susan spent the night fawning, but back at the house the girls questioned her motives (apparently she wants to move to L.A. to become an actress).

Not sure where I stand on this, but I’m loving how Moana is being set up as the bad guy. She is the only girl who isn’t acting like a desperate fool over Travis, and that makes them all question whether or not she’s in it for real. Truth is, after only a few meetings with someone, it’s a little funky to be all in love the way the rest of the pack is acting, so I’m kind of feeling Moana right now, even if she is a bit of a beeyatch.

Loved the big group date on the Diddy yacht, where the true reason this group of girls was chosen for the show was revealed—the bikini bodies. Now, you know I love Tara and think she’s the cutest lil’ thing, but her green hoochie cheese dress for the night of gambling has got to go. No sophistication. No class. No chic. And she keeps setting herself up to look ridiculous by busting up all of Travis’s one-on-one time with the competition.

She did it last week when T was giving Susan a birthday cake, and she did it this week when T was chatting up Nashville Sarah, who is grating on my nerves, the way she keeps aggressively telling him how much they have in common. Tara was bad-mouthing Sarah, saying she’s not his type (as if she really knows his type). Then our fiery redheaded friend made things worse by asking Travis what he would do with the rose (he gets to give one on the group date, which, incidentally, was a sleepover on the yacht that ended with Moana cuddling up with him in the a.m. and delivering coffee in a very sweet, natural way; she, of course scored the bud).

I was sure she’d get the boot at the rose ceremony, but he sent Shiloh packing (she was rather badly behaved on the group date, trying to put other girls down and play the gossip … don’t these girls learn from past shows that that isn’t sexy?). Anyway, on the third date of the hour, it was Sarah and Jennifer to the wilderness for camping, Travis’s favorite pastime. I loved that date, so much more real than the yacht (don’t get me wrong, I love the glamour, but camping is way more intimate).

It was clear that he’d send Jennifer home (her fear of bugs was driving him nuts, and the way she went on and on about how they could learn from each other’s differences clearly made him gag; he gave her the same pained look he flashed Kristen when she read her Dr. Seuss–like poetry). When he finally spent the rest of the night with Sarah, it was kind of adorable. I love the way he kissed her—by giving her the shhh sign with his finger over his lips and then going in for the kill. Even my knees got weak. Yum.

Did I mention yet that the man is hot?

End of the show, he toasted the girls and confessed to the camera that his future wife could be in that room. I’m not holding my breath. I’ve heard that line from many a bachelor. But I’ll be tuning in next week to see if Moana’s attitude rears its ugly head.